It is easy to get nostalgic about the early days of flying, when air travel was still such a novel luxury that men wore sportcoats, women wore pearls and peppy stewardesses served macadamia nuts. Everyone truly believed that they could “sit back, relax and enjoy the flight.” Now the airlines have unbundled their services, charging separately for baggage, food, blankets, 5 extra inches of leg room and access – the toilets are the last frontier of the free amenity.
One thing that is also gone is the very distinct class system. Back then the only way to get into first class was outright cash – no miles, no upgrades. I remember very distinctly filing by the privileged few on my way to coach – it was like a perp walk, but I also viewed it as a sociology trip to examine firsthand the captains of industry and their well-tended wives, smugly sitting in their comfy seats drinking bloody Mary’s from real glasses and dabbing at their lips with linen napkins. My father was over 6 feet tall and routinely complained about the cramped seating in coach. He could have afforded a first class seat, but he viewed the passage into the coach section a walk of honor, since he considered first class a classless ostentation indulged in by “swells” or “white shoe boys” – people who were born into privilege and didn’t deserve it, or people who had earned the luxury, but were just showing off. In his mind, the first class passengers were the perps. He would have been mortified to be spotted in first class by an acquaintance passing by on his way to coach.
Now frequent flyer miles have destroyed the cachet of first class. Almost anybody can be sitting there and as I inch by on my way to coach, the diversity in first class is another type of sociology trip – kids, sweaty men in sleeveless shirts, women in sweat pants, gum snappers and maybe a smattering of the privileged class. Who knows how they got there, through miles or a gift, but you can bet that very few ponied up the cash to buy a first class seat like the olden days. Recently our daughter Frances was returning from a 2 month trip through South America and somehow ended up in first class based on some quirk in frequent flyer miles. And with a first class ticket she was also eligible to lounge in the Admiral’s Club and snack on their food. Now Frances is a lovely girl, but she was scruffy, particularly since exquisite hygiene was probably not her top priority on a backpacking trip of hostels and camping. She did have to show her credentials to the incredulous, and maybe she was not the type of seatmate a well-heeled traveler might have expected in first class, but based on the airlines’ new system, she had every right to be there.
With the unbundling of services, there is now a whole menu of options to elevate your status. The airlines try to position this as flexibility so that consumers can get just what they want, but in reality, the airlines are charging for access that in my mind should not be
for sale – i.e. priority access through the security line, or in seating. To me priority access represents butting in, which has always been an inviolate school yard no-no. In fact, I think whether or not people are willing to stand in line in an orderly manner says a lot about a culture. But the airlines have realized that any time people wait in line, there is an opportunity to charge for the privilege of butting in. Southwest Airlines is a wonderfully egalitarian affair, no first class and no priority access. Everyone queues up according to when they got their boarding pass. The advertising campaign for SouthWest proudly states that they have not succumbed to unbundling – no separate charges for baggage or upgrades. This strategy has set them apart from their greedy competitors, but it must have been painfully difficult to turn down the revenue from priority access. Unlike baggage and change fees, priority access is not a supremely irritating take-away, but is instead a new opportunity for passengers, and for the airlines a low hanging fruit in an endless orchard. In fact, the fruit is beyond low hanging, it just effortlessly drops, perfectly luscious and succulent, into the hands of the competitors. The giddy airlines not only spread blankets and have a picnic, but then do a brisk business in making money from fruit pies made from free ingredients. A June 7th article in the New York times reported that United Airlines and Delta each reported over a billion dollars in “ancillary revenues,” a portion of which is related to priority access. South West Airline has finally snapped, and is now offering an “early bird” check-in for $10.
Cutting through the security line is another lucrative source of revenue for the airlines, even more unbelievable since it is the government TSA that creates the bottle neck – the airlines just take advantage of it. It seems to me that whoever delivers the captive audience in the first place should get a piece of the profits. Cutting in the security line makes sense in terms of time management, but the appeal of priority seating is more puzzling – although I probably would pay extra if they could assure me that I did not have to sit next to a crying baby. But in terms of when you get on the plane, what is the point? If you have a seat assignment, sitting back and relaxing in the gate area is more reliable than prematurely wedging into seat 14B. Furthermore, from a pure efficiency standpoint, it makes the most sense to seat the cabin from the rear forward, and from the window seats out, but now the whole seating process is delayed by the many groups that get priority seating – gold, platinum, sterling and probably several other precious metal categories.
So why are people willing to pay for priority seating? It turns out that what the airlines are really offering priority access to overhead bin space, which is at a premium since they charge to check bags. The result is that people arrive with “carry-on” bags that are absolutely stuffed and unwieldy. Several years ago I was doing some consulting work for a California company, who wanted me to get some sort of liability insurance in case I injured somebody while in their employ. This did not make sense to me. I was working from home and taking a cab to and from the final meeting in California, so I had very little opportunity to injure someone. But now as I watch people waver as they hoist heavy bags over their head, I see the risk of dumping the bag onto an unsuspecting passenger, resulting in a permanent neck injury. Added to this mix is the “gate check” where your baggage is stowed and then returned to you at the jetway destination. Right now, this is positioned as a nuisance that is avoided by the priority seating, but frankly, I think that this is preferable than wrestling with your bag. So an attractive strategy is to dally late at the gate and get the “privilege” of free gate checking. If the airlines get on to me, there will be another charge for voluntary gate checking.
At my last visit to the airport, I noticed that United Airlines was trying to maintain the cachet of privilege by trying to make passengers feel special. Those who were entitled to
early boarding were invited to “step up to the red carpet,” conjuring up an image of movie stars arriving at the Oscars. But the “red carpet” is nothing more than a scrap of red material about the size of a doormat. After all the early boarders had passed through, the gate agent carefully cordoned off the “red carpet” and the rest of us entered through an immediately adjacent lane whose only difference was that it was grey and not red. Among their priority services, United Airlines also claims that those who pony up will get their bags first in baggage claim, previously an aspect of air travel that I always assumed was absolutely random.
I must admit, the few times that I have flown first class, it has been a downright pleasurable experience. Like my father, it is not something that I would ever pay for, but I will not turn it down if offered. For over 10 years, we were extremely fortunate to have Yolanda as our babysitter, who not only took care of our children but our entire household, allowing both Nick and I to have relatively stress free working lives. Every year or so, we cash in some miles to give Yolanda tickets to visit her family in Columbia. This year I will cash in extra miles and get priority access, a red carpet and first class tickets for someone who truly deserves it. My friend Louellen told me of an inspiring incident when a first class passenger spontaneously gave up his seat to a serviceman. Now that’s a classy deed.
The missing words in the following poem are anagrams (i.e. like post, stop, spot) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters. One of the missing words will rhyme with the preceding or following line. Your job it to figure out the missing words based on the above rules and the context of the poem. Scroll down for answers.
As a kid, you knew that butting in line was definitely wrong,
You’d give those jerks the **** eye, and tell them to get back where they belonged
Now for a fee, the airlines will let you cut in line and enter through a separate aisle
But I think that this corporate sanctioned butting-in is money-grubbing at its most ****.
Airlines try to create a **** of legitimacy by saying they provide a choice to make,
But basically, priority access is a luscious low hanging fruit that is theirs to take.
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* evil, vile, veil
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