Fanacies |
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Food and Farming
The man knew he had to put a - - - - - on his insatiable appetite for sweet stuff,
Night and day he dreamed of mousses, éclairs and chocolate cream puffs.
His doctor had told him that he must go on his diet for his health’s sake,
But the thought of a sugar free life made his heart want to - - - - -.
There was another reason a diet was only a futile and foolish gesture.
The man was a - - - - -, and was Hershey’s chief chocolate taste tester.
Are you - - - - - - - with your conscience to stay on your diet,
But every time you see a dessert you just have to try it?
I am sure you know that no one has ever won the battle of the bulge
Unless they say no to dessert and resist the temptation to - - - - - - -.
And don’t get me started on your lack of exercise,
That weight loss is - - - - - - - you is really no surprise.
The pork was so tough it tasted like - - - - - .
It would be better to boil it and make - - - - - stew.
Even so you would be well advised to add
Lots of herbs and red - - - - - so it wouldn't taste so bad.
To make a Thanksgiving turkey from scratch here is how you begin
Pluck the feathers from the bird down to the - - - - - - skin.
Then put the turkey in the oven and cook until done
And use the turkey - - - - - - until the juices start to run.
Then you must decide which piece of anatomy that you like best
Is it dark meat from the leg, or white meat from the - - - - - -?
Chef - - - - - had a cooking show that aired from coast to coast.
She thrilled her audience with the subtleties of - - - - - toast.
But as she ate her toast she got fat and didn't look the same.
It was all the butter and sugar she added that was to - - - - -.
It got so bad that her arms began to look like an overstuffed sausage link.
At her worst she couldn't even - - - - - from the fridge to the kitchen sink.
The farmer surveys his land with its rich black - - - -;
The source of both his pride and relentless toil.
There is a bumper crop this year since good weather prevailed,
The corn is in the - - - - and the hay has all been baled.
In this land of abundance perhaps widespread obesity is not a surprise
From the corn they make - - - - to deep fry your French fries.
Vegetarians must learn to cope in various ways
When served with thick juicy cuts of beef - - - - - -
Either they can - - - - - - their revulsion at the thought of meat
Or they can make their hosts uncomfortable as they eat.
They might say, “I like the taste of beef - - - - - - but I don’t know how
I could ever bring myself to electrocute a cow. Could you?”
Little Jack Horner was waiting to eat his Christmas pie made of - - - - -.
His mother could cook, but at pie crusts she was nothing but thumbs.
She didn’t know how to cut in butter or use a rolling pin,
So the crust was either full of - - - - - or way too thin.
One day she reached for the flour and got rat poison instead,
Jack took a bite, began to - - - - - to the floor and then was dead.
Being overweight was something the man did not - - - - - -,
But snacking all day left him with a bulptious rear end.
When he saw that he could put his thumb in his waist and - - - - - - it an inch,
He said “I know just the diet, my weight loss will a total cinch!”
So he began his program to skimp and scrimp to lose his blimp.
His technique was to eat only - - - - - - catfood, like tuna, liver and a bit of shrimp.
Raise your hand if you don’t like eating chicken - - - - - .
If the thought of them makes you queasy and gives you shivers.
As they quiver and slither on your plate it makes you want to heave,
Perhaps you can get rid of it by slipping a - - - - - up your sleeve.
But feed it to your cat and he will be back to grovel and beg.
Put it in a - - - - - - bowel and he’ll purr and rub your leg.
Everyday the baker returned home all dusty and smelly
From making countless bagels at the local - - - .
He kept on working although he knew he was sick and tired.
If the boss thought he was - - - he would be surely fired.
One day the baker spat into the dough purely out of spite
And - - - - when asked why the bagel didn’t taste just right.
The United States is getting fat, how did it all - - - - -?
You only have to go to the beach to see what kind of shape we’re in.
Americans find it hard to pass up fast food burgers and greasy fries,
But such - - - - - eating will only make you despise the size of your thighs.
- - - - - the fattest country on this planet is not an enviable state,
When much of the world struggles to find food to put on a plate.
When I was in India I was so hungry that I could eat a horse,
So I was ready to spend my - - - - - - on a fabulous first course.
I liked to - - - - - - the specials to find something unique and new,
So I asked the waiter what is this “BYOD” on the menu?
“You can “bring your own dog” and the chef will make some - - - - - -,
He knows how to make your pets taste good in interesting ways.
Are you - - - - - - - with your conscience to stay on your diet,
But every time you see a dessert you just have to try it?
I am sure you know that no one has ever won the battle of the bulge
Unless they say no to dessert and resist the temptation to - - - - - - - .
And don’t get me started on your lack of exercise,
That weight loss is - - - - - - - you is really no surprise.
The French chef insists that to have a good meal,
You must follow his - - - - - - - with ardor and zeal.
The directions he gives are detailed and - - - - - - - ,
And give the exact amounts for each herb and spice.
But one day the chef lets out a scream that - - - - - - - the air.
Someone is substituting processed cheese food for aged Camembert.
According to an ancient American fable,
A pig and a lamb lived together in a - - - - - -.
The pig said, "Easter is coming soon and I'm telling you,
That luscious lamb stew will be on the menu."
"They will send the - - - - - - farmer to come chop off your head.
I bet that about now you wish you were a pig instead."
But the farmer was so moved by the - - - - - - of the little lamb,
He took one look at the dirty old pig and decided to have ham.
The land winked and said, "My charm and pathos have never failed,
I turned the - - - - - - on the pig and he got nailed.
International
- - - - - - is the central relay point in the Columbian drug trade
Here is where pure cocaine is cut, packaged and weighed.
From there the next point might be the off shore island of - - - - - -,
Drugs fan out from here by boat, as far away as LA or San Diego.
The captain of the ship wonders, “Can this - - - - - - any faster?
I need to outrace the coast guard in order to avoid disaster.”
- - - - - - - is the capitol of Iran and it is a pity
That poverty and pollution now besmirch this once great city.
There is a sprawling slum on the city’s outskirts,
Where simple - - - - - - - homes are made of sticks and dirt.
But it must - - - - - - - Iranis immensely when they realize,
That they are off the hot seat; it’s now Iraq we most despise.
In ancient - - - - - - there was a crisis of major proportions,
Children were dying of excruciating rigor and contortions.
The outbreak was found to be an epidemic of lethal - - - - - -
Due to the raw dog that was fed to infants and babies.
To prevent infection, mothers were told to cook their dog meat
And to - - - - - - the dog quickly at extremely high heat.
The Irani was a gambler with an addiction he could never satisfy
He’d even bet his last - - - - - on a racehorse with one blind eye
His wife would empty his pockets and then complain,
“Your gambling is just like throwing money down the - - - - -.”
He was ashamed of his losses and was at the - - - - - of his sorrow,
But knew he’d feel better when the racetrack opened tomorrow
In France, don’t say diplomat, say charge´ d’affaires
And you don’t say “my brother,” you say “mon - - - - -.”
Don’t - - - - - to the French as frogs, and they will react in horror
And don’t call the Seine just a river or call the Eiffel Tower an eyesore.
Be warned that the French customs are - - - - - about showers and hygiene.
So don’t turn up your nose at hairy armpits and B.O; its part of the routine.
In Africa the blazing sun can - - - - the earth with its oppressive heat,
Famine is widespread and families struggle to find food to eat.
Civil wars rage on, each tribe struggles to gain the upper hand
As marauding bands - - - - the countryside and desecrate the land.
Occasionally relief workers will deliver life saving - - - - and water to drink,
But it’s hardly enough to pull a continent back from disaster’s brink.
Pleas for more help aid for the Western world seem to fall upon deaf - - - -,
The cruel plight of Africa has been ignored for years and years.
These peoples have survived the - - - - of apartheid and merciless slave trades,
Only now to be faced with ethnic cleansing and death from AIDS
- - - - - - like to say that women like them the most,
“The ladies love the high flyers,” is their typical boast.
“But I am among the few, the proud and chosen,” says a - - - - - -.
In my uniform I am the handsomest man a woman has ever seen.”
The truth is women ultimately will love those that - - - - - - behind,
They prefer the comfort of the living and not the dead kind.
- - - - - - is the central relay point in the Columbian drug trade
Here is where pure cocaine is cut, packaged and weighed.
From there the next point might be the off shore island of - - - - - - ,
Drugs fan out from here by boat, as far away as LA or San Diego.
The captain of the ship wonders, “Can this - - - - - - any faster?
I need to outrace the coast guard in order to avoid disaster.”
- - - - - - - is the capitol of Iran and it is a pity
That poverty and pollution now besmirch this once great city.
There is a sprawling slum on the city’s outskirts,
Where simple - - - - - - - homes are made of sticks and dirt.
But it must - - - - - - - Iranis immensely when they realize,
That they are off the hot seat; it’s now Iraq we most despise.
In ancient - - - - - - there was a crisis of major proportions,
Children were dying of excruciating rigor and contortions.
The outbreak was found to be an epidemic of lethal - - - - - - .
Due to the raw dog that was fed to infants and babies.
To prevent infection, mothers were told to cook their dog meat
And to - - - - - - the dog quickly at extremely high heat.
The Irani was a gambler with an addiction he could never satisfy
He’d even bet his last - - - - - on a racehorse with one blind eye
His wife would empty his pockets and then complain,
“Your gambling is just like throwing money down the - - - - -.”
He was ashamed of his losses and was at the - - - - - of his sorrow,
But knew he’d feel better when the racetrack opened tomorrow
I'm going to tell you something that is true no matter who you are,
Even if you are a monsieur, a - - - - -, a czar or Hussar.
Even if you are a president with a country to run,
Even if you are - - - - - from the land of the midnight sun,
Even if you are as famous as Leif Ericson or Eric the Red,
If you - - - - - when you sleep, you will be kicked out of bed.
This set of anagrams can take you on an international trip,
First stop, Scotland, where the - - - - - - defines family and kinship.
Next we go to India to understand the meaning of a - - - - - -,
It's from Hinduism, and includes mystical things like a mantra.
Now we go to the deepest darkest jungles of South East Asia,
There we find the vine - - - - - -, one of the major exports of Malaysia.
In ancient - - - - - - along the banks of the Tigris and Euphrates,
Everyone bathed nude, even young brides and virginal ladies.
A husband said, “that I be the only one to see my wife naked is my sole desire.
“And this invention will bring me the fame to which I - - - - - -;
He built a tent with a hose and no roof, it took no time at all.
- - - - - - be to Allah, he made the world’s first shower stall.
Within the dense jungle of Burma are where - - - - - - are found
And poor peasants eke out a living in the mines underground.
They’d rather be - - - - - - working on their farms nearby,
But a seven year drought has left the land parched and dry.
Every now and then a cave in - - - - - - one of the diggers,
But they keep looking for gems that are bigger and bigger.
They search for the perfect stone the color of a fresh tender - - - - - -,
Colored deep red and purple without any hues of blacks or of blues.
This set of anagrams can take you on an international trip,
First stop, Scotland, where the - - - - - - defines family and kinship.
Next we go to India to understand the meaning of - - - - - -,
It's from Hinduism, and includes mystical things like a mantra.
Now we go to the deepest darkest jungles of South East Asia,
There we find the vine - - - - - -, one of the major exports of Malaysia.
War and Politics
To - - - a solider is a phrase that can mean many things,
For example, it meant a simple spear to ancient emperors and kings.
To them a weapon of mass destruction was a battering - - - or catapult,
And intelligence gathering was based on palm reading or belief in the occult.
But now biological weapons threaten to - - - our countryside like never before,
It almost makes you nostalgic for a nice, self contained eco-friendly war.
Here's what happens when an army is undisciplined and unpaid
And each solider feels empowered with his gun and his - - - - - - - .
- - - - - - - and frustrated marauding bands approach each village,
They rob it and loot it and otherwise pillage.
- - - - - - - at the corruption, farmers demand that something must be done.
The superpowers start meddling and voila, a civil war has begun.
On the Normandy beaches the rangers scaled the bluffs the quickest,
And then joined the paratroopers where the fighting was the - - - - - - - - .
They fought in the hedgerows and - - - - - - - - around the town of Marie Ste. Eglise.
Where dead paratroopers were found hanging from both the steeples and the trees.
The righteous and evil, the old and young, death came to all randomly and by chance,
The - - - - - - - - and the thin, the tall the short, all died violently on the shores of France.
Across the country, new recruits gather at airport, train stations and bus - - - - - - .
As they say goodbye to their loved ones, they begin to question the life they chose.
They have received orders that they have been - - - - - - to the Middle East and Iraq,
Where they will be fighting in the streets to prevent a terrorist attack.
They've been told to kill based on verifiable facts, but not on irrational fear,
But can the distinction between - - - - - -, freedom fighter, terrorist or civilian ever be clear?
The bayous and - - - - - - of the Mississippi are called the Big Easy,
Where politics are apt to be corrupt and especially sleazy.
Midst these murky waters both fresh, brackish and - - - - - -,
Ruled Huey Long, a famous governor both reviled and exalted.
He was a spellbinding demagogue who spoke with passion and desire,
His governorship - - - - - - four years but his ambition was much much higher,
He planned to run for president, but fate had - - - - - - him for a different destination,
In 1935 he died in a mysterious, conspiracy laden assassination.
In a move to control the price for the oil that they sell,
The oil rich nations united to form a - - - - - -.
Gas guzzling countries found the sheiks' behavior appalling,
Their private jets and cellars of wine and - - - - - - were utterly galling.
"These rising gas prices are a major pain in the - - - - - - zone," said the business brass
"How can it be true that WE must kiss their ass for oil and gas?"
Here are the rules for an honest and fair election,
Each - - - - - must be able to make an unfettered selection.
And election officials must always be on the alert
To make sure there is no influence peddling, either subtle or - - - - - .
And before you declare a winner, please take extra care
To make sure there isn't a - - - - - of uncounted votes hidden somewhere.
President Bush says that Saddam Hussein is a big fat - - - -.
And that his weapons of mass destruction pose a threat that is imminent and dire.
So with shock and awe he launched air strikes to make Saddam nervous,
Trying to destroy the infrastructure and the ---- and postal service.
Saddam hid out in an underground - - - - made of concrete
And tried to organize uprising from his hometown of Tikrit.
He stashed away money, mostly dollars, but also a - - - - or - - - - or two
But in the end he was captured like a caged animal without fuss or ado.
Now this last word has nothing to do with Iraq, a point I will concede,
But for completeness sake, botanists know that an - - - - is the covering of a seed.
When the Chinese ousted the Dali Lama they had the gall,
To exile him to India, somewhere near - - - - - .
He'd like to get on a - - - - - and return to Tibet,
But it's still not safe there, at least not just yet.
He'd have to face a - - - - - of corrupt Chinese judges,
Whose vindictive decisions are based on old grudges.
And even though Tibetans have loved him and missed him,
The Chinese would surely throw the Dali Lama into their - - - - - system.
George would have liked the headlines to read
"Bush - - - - - - - - Gore with a commanding lead."
But I don't think that anyone could - - - - - - - -
The wild finish that embroiled these two.
There were multiple- - - - - - - - in Florida state
Hanging and dimpled chads determined the candidates' fate.
"I won," says Bush, "But I got more votes," - - - - - - - - Gore.
The matter was finally left to the Supreme Court to explore.
The center of democracy is in Washington DC, our nation’s - - - - - - -,
It looks like things are happening but it’s actually really dull.
Pollution may be - - - - - - - one week, with hearings scheduled and the like,
But the next week the focus shifts to who may be going on strike.
And the image of an open and fair debate is really an - - - - - - - illusion,
Because progress, such as it is, is the result of influence peddling and collusion.
- - - - - - and learn from history or you will be dismayed
When you understand the horror and heartache of the price to be paid.
When the armed services come after your sons to get them to - - - - - -
You must raise your voice, protest and learn to resist.
I don’t know how many times I have said this before.
If you are - - - - - - be prepared to see your sons march off to war.
It was the height of the cold war and President Kennedy thought what the hell
We’re the United States so it’s okay to kill that crazy commie - - - - -.
But a CIA - - - - - operative had mistakenly advised the brass and bigwigs
That 2,000 Cuban nationals could easily storm the Bay of Pigs.
The ensuing disaster was - - - - - as an example of a flawed subversion,
Or the cautionary tale of a 10,000 pound gorilla with a recto-cranial inversion.
One of the - - - - - that is supposed to make this country proud
Is that wiretapping and torture are simply not allowed.
And even putting these inalienable rights and principles - - - - -,
Is the disquieting fact that our president has routinely dissembled and lied.
How can it be that Bush and his - - - - - do not seem to comprehend
That their actions betray the very democratic principles they are trying to defend.
Ah, the fertile crescent, once the jewel of the Middle East,
Where - - - - - of state and potentates liked to dally, dance and feast.
Now gone is the dappled - - - - - that once graced the river banks,
Replaced by barbed wire and the raucous rumble of army tanks.
Gone also is the prosperity once symbolized by Tigris and Euphrates,
These rivers now evoke images of war and death, like the hellish kingdom of - - - - -.
General George Custer was an arrogant man with few - - - - - or deep thoughts
As a white man he just assumed that he’d be the victor in each battle that he fought.
His captains took him - - - - - and said “we think that the Indians are planning a surprise”
And if they attack in the morning we are sure that everyone dies.”
But Custer ignored his - - - - -, and it came with a very great cost.
In fact, that was why the Battle of the Little Big Horn was lost.
Abe Lincoln was a famous president most famous for one great deed
That was the Emancipation Proclamation and all the slaves he -----.
But true equality was only a mirage across a cruel and mighty schism.
As ignorance and bigotry only fed and ----- the hatred of racism.
But Martin Luther Kind finally stirred us when he said we must be color blind
And we could no longer afford to ----- his dream of equality for all mankind.
As the tourniquet twisted slowly and then turned tighter,
The solider clenched his jaw, turned pale and then - - - - - -
He had been ambushed and shot by an anti-American protestor.
And they had to amputate his leg which was about to - - - - - - and fester.
As he began to - - - - - - in pain he asked this question to his physician
“Hey, aren’t we supposed to be on a nonviolent peace-keeping mission?”
Bush said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction for sure
So he attacked the country in order to make ours more - - - - - -.
But no weapons were found, so he said “that’s okay,
I’m sure the Iraqis wanted us to - - - - - - them anyway.”
But let’s be honest, Bush should - - - - - - himself from these plans and plots.
Because he’s more interested in big oil than deposing demons and despots.
Even though the petty dictator had only a marginal intellect
He managed to command universal - - - - - - -.
But it was not based on compassion or respect for the law,
It was the - - - - - - - of his secret police that kept his people in awe.
He sat on his sumptuous throne with golden - - - - - - - in hand,
While ruthlessly raiding the coffers of his impoverished land.
We must bear the consequences of our ancestors who - - - - - to claim the world's frontiers
And created artificial countries for poohbahs, swamis, rajahs, chieftans and emirs.
Puppets were installed that the West could manipulate as a docile figure head
And then they raped the economy and countryside whilst instilling fear and - - - - -.
Now our machinations are unraveling as downtrodden cultures demand overdue respect,
Like an - - - - - rising from the sand to bite the foot that has been standing on its neck.
George would have liked the headlines to read
"Bush - - - - - - - - Gore with a commanding lead."
But I don't think that anyone could - - - - - - - -
The wild finish that embroiled these two.
There were multiple - - - - - - - - in Florida state
Hanging and dimpled chads determined the candidates' fate.
"I won," says Bush, "But I got more votes," - - - - - - - - Gore.
The matter was finally left to the Supreme Court to explore.
Royalty
Cleopatra was a hardworking queen but whenever she got the blahs,
She relaxed with Anthony at Alexandria’s finest seaside - - - -.
“Ruling - - - - a girl’s energy,” Cleo would say,
“So a seaweed facial is just what I need today.”
So the days would - - - - peacefully at her Egyptian home,
But too bad the lovers lost track of events in Rome.
Octavian attacked, and Anthony killed himself with a knife.
And - - - - hidden in a basket of figs ended Cleo’s life.
The king and queen - - - - somewhere near France
They'd like their daughter to wed, but there is no chance.
Her looks are so - - - - that no man would have her,
They said that she looked more like a living cadaver.
The princess cried, "What - - - - God has done this to me?
Every time I look in the mirror I see pure misery."
The queen said, "if they can't see your inner beauty I will put them in jail,”
The king replied, " I have a better idea, just don't take off your - - - -.”
Religion
Here is the story of Genesis Three,
Of Adam and Eve, a - - - - - - - and a tree.
Satan told the snake to give them a tempting apple as a - - - - - - -
And unfortunately for this world, they succumbed and were aquiescent.
With the first bite came sin, death, pestilence and diseases.
And mankind only - - - - - - - with the guidance of God and his son Jesus.
The three wise men walked to Bethlehem carrying frankincense and myrrh,
With the - - - - - - - star to guide them they knew exactly where they were.
But imagine if it had been a cloudy night, their search would have begun in - - - - - - -,
Lost in the vast desert expanse, this test would have been life’s sternest.
They’d ask strangers, “if you could show us the - - - - - - - manger, it surely please us.
You see, we’ve come all this way to give our gifts to little baby Jesus.”
In Medieval times the villagers quickly learned that
You must steer clear of the man in the pointed - - - - - - .
That was a bishop wearing his miter and he was consumed
With - - - - - - for all the sinners who surely were doomed.
He felt that only a tenuous - - - - - - kept the soul from red hot hell fires,
So he preached avoidance of temptation and earthly desires.
But there were a - - - - - - of converts to this quest for celibate life.
Most just wanted to keep lusting after their neighbor’s wife.
It's Easter, go to church and get a blessing that is papel,
Get ready for the egg hunt, that is an Easter - - - - - -.
Everyone wears their Easter best, women look like fashion - - - - - -
Men wear linen suits with crisp new - - - - - -, and like to show off their dates.
The flowers are all in bloom, they make a lovely stink,
What can be more perfect than - - - - - - - - - - - - of - - - - - - pink.
The church says their policies only reflect their - - - - - - in spreading the word of Lord Jesus
But the pope’s refusal to compromise or modernize continues to displease us.
The church’s sanctimonious pronouncements so full of self righteous piety
Ring even more hollow when their own behaviour is so egregiously - - - - - - .
How can they object to - - - - - - and language that is explicit,
When their priests are engaged in pedophilia and other acts illicit.
To test Sodom, God sent down three angels who were handsome, hunky and hot.
The lusty townfolk - - - - - - at them and then chased them into the house of virtuous Lot.
Lot said, "Don't harm my guests, instead defile my daughters, all three are luscious virginal maids"
Inexplicably God was impressed and decided to reward Lot for this most cruel of - - - - - - .
God said "I will save whoever - - - - - - straight ahead, but Lot's wife said, "What the hell,"
She stopped to glance backward, and as we all know she turned into a pillar of NaCl.
St. Peter - - - - - - - those who arrive at his gate
Who look like sinners full of anger, spite and hate.
He advises, “While you don’t have to lead a - - - - - - - life to ascend to heaven above,
But at least show that you are able to feel compassion and true love.
If however your heart is cold and - - - - - - - with evil through and through,
I might just have a different destination in mind for you.
Be warned that the peace of heaven won’t be where you go when you are dead.
No, I’ll send to the fiery depths of hell - - - - - - -.
Pious - - - - - - had jealous rivals who thought he was a sycophantic brown noser.
So the king made a law to put him together with a lion into a tight enclosure.
They thought that God could not possibly save him from this horrifying plight,
And assumed he would be - - - - - - by the lion in the middle of the night.
King Darius was at first in - - - - - - and then realized the inequities of his laws,
And prayed just enough to get an angel to come and close the lion’s jaws.
Einstein gases skyward to see what he can - - - - -
Perhaps the speed of light at an - - - - - he has never seen.
But what if he sees an - - - - - wafting through the sky,
Can this man of science believe in heavens and gods on high?
This is the condensed story of the misfortunes that are Job’s
He mourns when Satan kills his family by tearing off his - - - - -. (1:13-22)
Then Satan afflicts him with painful boils and a worm that - - - - - through his skin (2:7-8)
His friends Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar arrive and are appalled at the bad shape he’s in. (2:11-13)
The trio offer him - - - - - words of advice but Job wants to know why (4-11)
God would permit such suffering and not let him die. (12:1-14:22.)
When Christians want to contemplate God and reach inner peace and calm
They look to the Bible and read their favorite soothing - - - - -.
When Muslims want to make sure that Allah is still really up there,
They grab their Koran, put their - - - - - together and say a little prayer.
But I’m an atheist, so here is how I deal with any fear or doubt,
I get some - - - - - and rub them and hope a genie will pop out.
Medicine and Health
When you're in the - - - - - - - profession you must be sure of everything you do.
I've learned that even the teeniest mistake will make your patient want to sue.
For example, there was a time when my patient fraudulently - - - - - - -
That I did surgery on the wrong side and left her totally maimed.
And then there was the time I misplaced a - - - - - - - when I calculated a dose
And I found myself sued by a patient who was supposedly comatose.
- - - - - - - myself and said “why am I being sued, don’t they understand
That not everything is going to go just exactly as I’d planned?”
Freud was the world’s first shrink and patients thought it was weird,
To tell him their secrets while he nodded and stroked his short - - - - -,
He treated the psyche like - - - - -, he would knead it and then let it rise,
Exposing the lewd and lascivious dreams that he loved to analyze.
But once the soul was - - - - -, the barriers were broken, and he had picked all the locks,
Some preferred that the ugly thoughts stayed where they belonged, in Pandora’s box.
History and Philosophy
Ancient Greece has bequeathed us a rich and varied history,
Greek gods, the muses, the - - - - -, and other mythological mysteries.
They gave us the Olympics celebrating amateurs performing agile and athletic - - - - -,
And recipes for different - - - - - made from milk squeezed from goats' tender teats.
A Greek - - - - - might include gyros, baclava and enough ouzo to produce deep inebriation,
And my son says wearing a toga with the Phi Delts is a vital part of his college education.
If you are tracing the lineage of long lost grandparents, uncles or aunts,
Go to Ellis island; they might be on their list of - - - - - - - - -.
They came - - - - - - - - - to this country leaving possessions and family behind
From Russia, Italy and Ireland they came, a melting pot of humankind.
When they arrived they worked hard - - - - - - - - - a trade and soon it came to pass,
That within a generation they had established a vibrant middle class.
The heavens unite us all, and the stars seen by an Arab or Somali
Are the same as those seen across the ocean by a Sikh or a - - - - - - -,
A - - - - - - - and a Chinaman see them too, and so do the soothsayer and the shaman,
So perhaps we should look to the sky and focus on what we’ve got in common.
Tonight let’s all find - - - - - - -, in Pegasus that is the bright star on the horse’s wing,
Together let’s pray for peace and wisdom; who knows what our efforts will bring.
The climber dangles from a cliff, held only by - - - - -
He sees them unraveling and fraying along with his hopes.
He feels himself slipping more, and all his - - - - - are running with sweat,
But despite his best efforts he knows that his fate has been set.
Before he plummets to his death he reviews the life he has led
And composes a bit of - - - - - for the obituary that will run when he’s dead.
He says he has tried to be a good human, but at this moment he has come to learn
That nature considers a human life no more important than a - - - - - on a fern.
Every day the future turns to present and then to past as the earth - - - - - - -,
As each day dawns, history is made as man awakes, thinks and creates.
In 196 BC an Egyptian craftsman was etching the - - - - - - - stone.
The earth orbits some more and the first American flag is sewn.
Round and round it goes and progress comes quicker and quicker,
Now when you buy a - - - - - - - it is even operated with a clicker.
When the Mayflower left England and beyond the horizon - - - - - -,
The Pilgrims had little idea of what their new life entailed.
But the uncertainties are balanced by the - - - - - - they hold so dear
Like no religious persecution by artistocratic peers.
No more lords and - - - - - -, no more upper class or crust.
They are guided by their piety and by the God they trust.
Let’s recognize the bravery of all our US immigrants now legal - - - - - - - - -.
Who arrived in this country without possessions and only five cents.
Our nation will welcome a - - - - - - - - - fleeing abuse and civil strife,
Who will recognize the opportunity to start a new life.
Yes, we are a nation of huddled masses yearning to be free,
Whose - - - - - - - - - is even engraved on the Statue of Liberty.
One of the - - - - - of the French Revolution
Was Marie Antoinette's clever solution
When the peasants were starving and they had to - - - - -
Even the - - - - - little crumb to make a meal.
She said, "Let them eat cake, forget about - - - - - bread,"
The peasants revolted and she lost her head.
The - - - - of mother nature can be very surprising,
Who is not inspired by a horizon with a full moon rising?
Or a - - - - in the sky that lights your way,
How about the rustle of winds and trees that sway?
But nature is also predator and prey, lethal food chains and mortal combats,
And this world is strewn with dead things that become food for the - - - -,
Man is part of nature and thus encompasses our evil side,
So nature is also the - - - - or a dictator who delights in genocide.
Ever since you took your first breath and your life began,
You have been eating away at your assigned life - - - - .
So don’t fritter away your nights foot loose and fancy free,
Or squander your afternoons taking - - - -- in front of TV.
But also don’t spend too much time wondering what life is all about,
You’ll be wasting time waiting to see if your life - - - - out.
And don’t worry about making long term investments to get ahead,
Because with a - - - - of the fingers, time’s up, you’re dead.
The climber dangles from a cliff, held only by - - - - -
He sees them unraveling and fraying along with his hopes.
He feels himself slipping more, and all his - - - - - are running with sweat,
But despite his best efforts he knows that his fate has been set.
Before he plummets to his death he reviews the life he has led
And composes a bit of - - - - - for the obituary that will run when he’s dead.
He says he has tried to be a good human, but at this moment he has come to learn
That nature considers a human life no more important than a - - - - - on a fern.
Popular Culture
Every time the road runner - - - - speeding down the road,
Wile E. Coyote had set a booby trap triggered to explode.
The - - - - company had sent him bombs and anvils to drop on the roadrunner's head,
But something always went wrong and Wile E. was left for dead instead.
Springing back to life, Wile E. had a brainstorm to use a cloud of - - - -
But as usual the wind changed directions and blew the cloud into Wile E's face.
The tattoo artist said “here are my needles on this tray,
And next to them I’ve arranged all my - - - - in a bright array.
Before I - - - - the needle into your flesh I would suggest
That you consider tattooing an eagle onto your chest.
It will be life-like and stunning so let me begin,
I am an artist and my canvas is your - - - -.”
Urban Legends
1. Mothers flushed baby pet alligators down the toilet and their kids never missed them
But now there are - - - - of thousands full grown gators roaming our sewer system.
2. Why don't you ever see baby pigeons in a - - - - or on city streets?
Because White Hen catches them with ---- and serves them as luncheon meats.
3. When the man peed on the third rail, it - - - - a shock he never saw coming
He survived the electrocution but it destroyed his masculine plumbing.
Nature
The laws of supply and demand apply to all creatures and - - - - - - - -,
With starvation and death to the runt of the litters.
Unless we humans - - - - - - - - the amount of resources we consume,
We’ll surely be headed for a barren and polluted doom.
Mother nature is unforgiving, there is no - - - - - - - - taskmaster,
If we blow it, she’ll just let a new species evolve to replace this human disaster.
Oh, to once again - - - - passenger pigeons darkening the sky,
At their peak a flock would took several days to pass on by.
They would alight on each fence - - - -, mass on barn roofs and eat sown seed,
A century later they succumbed to mass destruction and wanton greed.
The heath hen died as the Pilgrims killed them with sprayed gun shots;
These bewildered birds were then added to the settlers’ simmering stew - - - -.
Goodbye to the Carolina Parakeet, killed for the fashion of snooty aristocrats,
Who fancied feathers artfully decorating the - - - - of ladies’ hats.
The Great Auk was a flightless bird who swam along the Eastern shore.
Sailors said, “Why - - - - killing them? There’ll always be plenty more.”
Until man - - - - to become a steward of our beleaguered planet earth,
We will continue to be impoverished as our diversity loses its net worth.
Sports
Things I Don't Understand About Figure Skating
Can anyone tell me why figure skating costumes are in such ghastly, garish -----?
Why would men want to dress like a toy solider or an swishy pantywaist?
Why do women wear slutty outfits with necklines that are plunging and deep
And why don't their ----- pop out when they are doing some energetic leap?
Can anyone ----- the difference between an axel, toe loop, salchow or double lutz?
Any why don't those little panties give them constant wedgies and chafe their butts?
When linemen see hands slipping under the centers' butts,
They listen carefully to the cadence of the quarterbacks’ ----.
As the ball is hiked, forward they tumble in a big sweaty jumble,
Hoping to ---- down the run, monkey pile the halfback and recover a fumble.
Every Sunday this well orchestrated mayhem is a purely an American sensation.
---- it is no wonder that the rest of the world thinks that we are a violent nation.
Among the - - - - - of professional anglers, this fisherman was the best,
He could read the river and cast better than all the rest,
He surveyed the water to spot where his fly should be placed
Perhaps in the quiet pool beyond where the current frothed and - - - - -.
So he flicked his rod back and forth and - - - - - his fly across the river.
He felt the line pull taut and the rod tip began to quiver.
“Aha a fish,” he thought, and he - - - - - not if it was a bass, a trout or perch
Just as long as he did not get tangled in a - - - - -, oak or birch.
When linemen see hands slipping under the centers' butts,
They listen carefully to the cadence of the quarterbacks’ - - - -.
As the ball is hiked, forward they tumble in a big sweaty jumble,
Hoping to - - - - down the run, monkey pile the halfback and recover a fumble.
Every Sunday this well orchestrated mayhem is a purely an American sensation.
- - - - it is no wonder that the rest of the world thinks that we are a violent nation.
Professions and Jobs
The clock is running the ----- has been set.
No more continuances, the trial date must be met .
The judge will rule on the ----- of each motion.
As the attorneys represent their clients with passion and devotion.
After the trial, the bill the lawyer will -----
Is more likely to be paid if the jury votes to acquit.
The cub reporter just didn't get it.
A copy writer only, he wasn't allowed to ----.
The obituaries were his job and you might have guessed.
That a steady ---- of death notices left him depressed.
His editor said, "Look I know you feel ---- down to grief and sorrow.
But do a good job and you might get promoted tomorrow.
There are lots of jobs of all kind and all sorts.
Your next step might be editing weather and ---- reports."
Discussion was rampant in the office -----
That the owner's son was a first class fool.
He showed up drunk or late with some excuse that was phony.
And most afternoons he took off to exercise his ---- pony.
Although listed as a manager, on policies he had no voice.
He was kept totally out of the ---- by unanimous choice.
It's quite possible that your stockbroker could be concealing
Shady partnerships and sweet heart -------.
His ------- analysts might be pumping and dumping as a routine,
Or seeking favors to get their kids into a private school - how obscene
So even if your broker says he's ------- with a company that's spic and span,
Keeping your money under the mattress may look like a better plan.
My friends are always ------ -- to invest like Warren Buffet.
But I preferred the safety of bonds, so I told them to stuff it.
Then one day I saw something that seemed rather strange,
Enron stock was trading well below its --- -----.
So I -------- my account and loaded up on the stock,
And then my heart sank, as it dropped like a rock.
But I’m still -------- of amassing a wealth this is obscene.
Just wait, someday you’ll see me on the cover of Forbes magazine.
The clock is running the - - - - - has been set.
No more continuances, the trial date must be met .
The judge will rule on the - - - - - of each motion.
As the attorneys represent their clients with passion and devotion.
After the trial, the bill the lawyer will - - - - -
Is more likely to be paid if the jury votes to acquit.
Women - - - - to tolerate rampant sexism in offices and workplaces
Such as low pay, groping, propositions and other disgraces.
Women thought that spending lunch hour in the boss’ hotel bed
Was simply the - - - - that had to be paid in order to get ahead.
But now if a guy says or does anything that is remotely lewd,
He is sent to HR for sensitivity training so that the company won’t get - - - -.
Family and Household
For centuries mothers have had to - - - - - - their children to pick up their clothes,
I imagine a conversation between Ma Shakespeare and Will and here’s how it goes.
“Mother I doth protest mightily that into my quarters you have - - - - - -,
And methinks your accusations of irksome slovenliness are wrongly charged.
I shall be - - - - - - in whatever artful raiment I so chooseth and what’s more,
‘Tis much simpler to pluck my garments when they are strewn on the floor.
Terry got married a very nice guy who happened to be named - - - ,
But people were - - - to confuse their names so they decided to play tit for tat.
They wanted to - - - into androgyny, so he wore stockings and she wore trousers.
They even named their dog Kitty, their cat was called Bowser.
At - - - meetings they would always have to explain who married whom
And make sure that their daughter Sam wasn’t assigned to the boys locker room.
Here’s some advice to newlyweds - before you consider procreation
You had better consider how you are going to pay for your kids’ - - - - - - - - - .
I knew a couple who had been - - - - - - - - - but fell into bad habits.
With all their romancing they began reproducing like rabbits.
They regretted their passion and realized that they had gone too far.
When to pay for all that tuition they - - - - - - - - - off their car.
The - - - - - - - - period lasts for about three quarters of a year,
A time in which men must face a persistent and nagging fear.
“What if I shower my child with love, both tender and - - - - - - - -,
But my child prefers my wife, with bonds that are stronger and maternal?”
Fear not, all children need love from both mother and father to feel secure,
This mutually reinforcing love will create - - - - - - - - bonds that will endure.
In the picture the daughter could not find her mother even though
All the students were - - - - - - alphabetically in a row.
"Is this you - what were you thinking with this godawful shirt?
And I bet you got - - - - - - when you wore this repulsive skirt.”
How could Dad every married someone so prim and - - - - - -?”
“Well your father has always said that I was a rose who just bloomed late.”
If you want to keep - - - - on what’s in our attic just take a smell,
There is a musty acrid odor, piles of scat and little squeaks as well.
There are - - - - up there, perhaps hundred or thousands hanging in the eaves,
We tried but nobody has ever figured out how to get them to leave.
My brothers tried to - - - - them with a poker but they stubbornly persist,
Now I guess that two of Gods creatures must somehow learn to coexist.
Every spring I make a promise to work hard in the garden - - - - - - -,
But one thing always leads to another and I get preoccupied.
Planting and weeding are so - - - - - - - and what’s more,
Even watering becomes an annoying repetitive chore.
The truth is that every summer that I can recollect
The entire garden - - - - - - - by July due to benign neglect.
As the rich old man - - - - - - the end of his days and assessed his life’s work,
He realized that everyone thought he was just a miserly old jerk.
He wanted to find a way to - - - - - - himself to his family and friends
To make up for lost time and to make amends.
But his family were shocked and dismayed when they learned
That a charity, not them, received all the money he had - - - - - -.
- - - - - - - get nervous when their children play in the snow.
So they - - - - - - - them in warm clothing from head to toe.
If they see frostbite developing on their nose or other epidermis
They feed them soup with brandy kept warm in the - - - - - - -.
Do you have a teenager that just sleeps and sleeps,
And his dirty laundry clutters his floor in big messy - - - - - .
And he only grunts yes or no when you try and get him to talk,
And he gets all bent out of - - - - - if he has to take HIS dog for a walk.
They say that this only a - - - - - and that he will emerge as your friend
In the meantime, my ego is bruised and I’m at my wits end.
When you're finished painting, here's some helpful hints,
Clean your brushes thoroughly and give them a good - - - - -.
But if the - - - - - in the paint causes a basement fire.
Try and put it out before the flames have - - - - - higher.
But better call 911 if you are running out of luck
And listen for the - - - - - from the approaching fire truck.
The young mother is nervous and in a - - - - - of collapse.
Her newborn child won't eat and never takes naps.
She's desperate to do something and if her husband let her
She'd put bourbon in the formula to make it - - - - - better.
The mother thinks, "What will I do if this child never eats?"
My advice is to give the baby her very own milk from her very own - - - - -.
The grief stricken family stands at the grave under skies as grey as - - - - -.
They mourn and cry over their loss and the sadness that they feel.
The blowing wind and dropping temperature add to the gloomy pall;
The family huddles together as a cold - - - - - starts to fall.
They built the - - - - - to honor the carefree life he had led,
But now they can’t think beyond the fact that their beloved dog is dead.
Families get together at Thanksgiving to eat turkeys or glazed - - - -
Or perhaps roasted legs of lamb or maybe candied yams.
Cousins work together to - - - - the potatoes to complete the meal
The table set with Grandma’s china completes the togetherness feel.
But this family unity is only a - - - - because as you will surely see,
Everyone leaves the family table to watch football on TV.
This is the time of year you see ads for a Caribbean vacation,
Urging you to cash in your - - - - - for some sun-kissed relaxation.
At the seaside bar they will serve you drinks made of - - - - - with a parasol on top,
Or you can stroll in the quaint town and shop until you drop.
A hunky cabana boy with a dazzling - - - - - will massage your feet and rub your back,
And your husband likes to watch, because for him it’s a heaven sent aphrodisiac.
Hey, wake up, stop day dreaming, you need to get back to real time,
It's snowing outside, your kids need a ride, and your sink is filled with grime and - - - - -.
The farmer’s daughter wanted to marry a man from the business - - - - - - ,
But her father was suspicious and did everything to protect her.
He tried to - - - - - - her on every single date
And set strict curfews so that she couldn’t stay out so late.
He made her wear a - - - - - - to make undressing too much of a bother,
But of course, love found a way and soon he was a grandfather.
When I moved to the suburbs I thought I had it made,
With quiet - - - - - - and tall trees providing sun dappled shade.
The neighbors stroll by wearing khakis and cabled sweaters,
Walking their pedigreed Labradors, retrievers and - - - - - -.
But I found myself swearing and using my - - - - - - words,
When the neighbors left my yard strewn with steaming dog turds.
English has many colorful expressions to add images to what we say,
“He’s my spitting image,” really means we probably share some - - - .
Instead of Edward Jr. a “chip off the old block,” might be named Ned, Ted or Ed,
Or if you name is Daniel you might call him Danny or just plain - - - instead.
My kids hate the expression, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,”
Because they are appalled to think that they will grow up - - - turn out just like me!
The young couple had children who did nothing but whine, pout and pester
And each dreamt of the day when they could relax and be an empty - - - - - - .
As the couple - - - - - - their fifties they think that their time is finally at hand,
But sadly things aren’t turning out just as they’d planned.
The wife begins to - - - - - - the fact that her husband loafs on the couch.
And he thinks that she is turning into a vindictive old grouch.
The atmosphere couldn’t be - - - - - - as a truth emerges that they can’t ignore.
With their children gone they have nothing in common anymore.
Have you ever thought about to what extent your life is ruled by chance?
- - - - - -, perhaps our most fateful decisions are merely lucky happenstance.
Make one choice and another is - - - - - -,
Take one path and another is untried.
I stumbled and bumbled, but - - - - - - up with a blessed and privileged life,
In grateful awe of the forces that led me to become my husband's wife.
Childhood Misconceptions
I thought it was a gentle doggie dog world, not a ruthless world full of hate,
I thought others would starve and die if I didn’t - - - all my food on my plate.
I thought being a mom was easy, you just drank - - - while you watched a soap opera show
I thought that after you - - -, poo was stored in your buttocks until it was really time to go.
I thought that daylight savings time meant you actually saved sunshine in a jar,
I thought that babies came from …. Well, I won’t tell you because it’s just too bizarre.
Pet Peeves from my 30s and 40
How about when you - - - - your toe on toys that are strewn about the floor,
And the dirty dishes left in the sink are a hard to ignore eyesore.
The grime in the bath - - - - and the wet towels left for you to pick up,
And in the TV room are juice boxes, cokes and leftover milk in a cup.
And when you use your “I mean it” voice with no “ifs, ands or - - - -“
You get a look like your family thinks you are nuts and hates your guts.
And then when you - - - - your ass to provide a privileged life for your kids,
They say you are embarrassing and they treat you like some low life hominid.
Circa 1963:
At the height of the cold war our neighbors built a bomb shelter next door,
And said if we paid their - - - - - we could stay there during a nuclear war.
But my mother said, “thanks just the same I would rather live with my - - - - -,
Because I’d rather be blown up than have those folks as my surviving peers.”
At school, they said we’d be - - - - - if we sat beneath our desk and covered our head.
But everyone knew that if the Russians dropped a bomb we’d be instantly dead.
Kids like to celebrate the beginning of summer vacation
Because they think they can lie on the - - - - for hours of relaxation.
But I like to run a tight ship and don't tolerate any lazy - - - -
And I have a list of job for any child who sleeps late and loafs.
So - - - - today, anybody who watches TV into the wee hours and then gets up late
Will be assigned a chore that they will undoubtedly hate.
My friends told me I’d love being a mother and I believed everything they said,
But after a few weeks with a colicky newborn, I felt I’d been seriously - - - - - - .
I couldn’t calm a crying baby and I was overwhelmed by what I needed to learn,
I was tired, disheveled and - - - - - - with body fluids, like spit up, drool and urine.
But then one day my baby - - - - - - at me and that was the moment when
I fell in love, became a mother and I’ve not looked back since then.
On weekends Dads look forward to their afternoon naps,
While lying on the couch several hours may - - - - - -.
They might pretend to watch baseball or read a book,
But you can tell they're dead - - - - - - from just one look.
- - - - - - note the drool on their chin or a tongue that's hanging out
Listen for snorting or snoring if you still have any doubt.
The teenager went to the mall and got a pierced - - - - - - - without her parents permission,
And the mother was upset at the daughter's disobedience and lack of contrition:
She cries, "All these years I've tried my best at child - - - - - - -,
But when I talk I don't think you are ever listening or hearing!"
The daughter says, "Relax Mom, this is no big deal, it's really not.
You'll certainly be - - - - - - - to know I routinely drink and smoke pot."
When his son turned two, his Dad - - - - - - -
To toilet train him soon because he was tired
Of seeing piles of - - - - - - - that were sodden and icky
He tried every incentive, some inventive, some tricky
The Dad - - - - - - - his son, he told him he was the world's best boy
He plied him with candy and an occasional toy.
But he was in - - - - - - - , and had run out of hope.
He thought, "my mother had six kids, how did she ever cope?"
When I was little my grandmother gave me these sage words of advice,
She said, “Don’t be too - - - - - - - on men because you won’t like the price.
And don’t look at a solar eclipse too long because you will find,
That the - - - - - - - damage will leave you blind.”
And she spoke the truth when she warned me about a toilet and a - - - - - - - ,
She said, “you’ll get a disease unless you wipe the seat clean.”
My father said that rock music was noise he couldn’t understand,
And Glenn Miller was the - - - - of his all time favorite band.
He said, “I can never understand what the mumbled lyrics - - - -,
But I bet ‘Happiness is a warm gun’ is something really obscene.
And I don’t like those bell bottoms and the other clothes they wear,
And don’t get me started on their mangy mop top - - - - of hair.”
“The Beatles won’t last a year” was his oft repeated caveat.
Thank God he was wrong, and we can all say - - - - to that.
Mountain Climbing and Adventure
The Gobi is a large desert, but the Sahara is even - - - - - -.
And to head off unprepared is to risk disaster.
For example, only a generous supply of water - - - - - - death from thirst.
Actually, it won’t matter because you will be blinded by a sandstorm first.
And you’ll - - - - - - to death unless you bring enough food to eat.
Actually, it won’t matter because you’ll already be dead from the heat.
Best not go.
Mt. Everest is the - - - - - - of myth, the world's tallest peak,
But why do climbers climb, what is this danger that they seek?
"Because it's there," was Sir Edmund Hillary's famous - - - - - -.
With his- - - - - - at his side, from the earth's rooftop he did gaze.
The mountain climber likes to tell stories of his adventures and - - - - - -,
In interviews published in magazines and newspapers.
One night he was stranded on an - - - - - - and it began to snow,
And then the temperature fell to forty below.
He had to - - - - - - out a snow cave from the icy snow drift,
But he slipped and spent the night in the depths of a glacier’s rift.
As he excitedly - - - - - - the story, you think mountain climbers must be insane.
Why else would they endure near fatal agony and pain?
Pot Pourri
Ever since you took your first breath and your life began,
You have been eating away at your assigned life - - - -.
So don’t fritter away your nights foot loose and fancy free,
Or squander your afternoons taking - - - - in front of TV.
But also don’t spend too much time wondering what life is all about,
You’ll be wasting time waiting to see if your life - - - - out.
And don’t worry about making long term investments to get ahead,
Because with a - - - - of the fingers, time’s up, you’re dead.
If your faith is shaken and you feel an oncoming sinful lapse.
You should spend some prayerful time in the church’s - - - -.
If you dislike vegetables like - - - - and carrots, broccoli and beets,
You should go on one of those diets where you only eat red meats.
If you don’t believe in evolution and deny that - - - - are our kin,
You’d better shave your back because you sure look simian.
There are many ways to say goodbye, but these are among my top ten - - - -
When a scientist says, “let’s make like an amoeba,” that means he splits.
When the pioneer has sown his seed and every row has been hoed,
He might say, “let’s make like horse - - - - and hit the road.”
And - - - - one is my absolute favorite without any doubt,
The ob-gyne says, “let’s make like a fetus and just head on out!”
Literature and Arts
The "Thinker" is a famous statue who sits in a contemplative pose,
His - - - - - - rests on his knee and he is not wearing any clothes.
"What’s he thinking" is something that everyone wants to know,
"Is it the rapture of heaven above, or the fires of hell - - - - - -?"
But ascribing such lofty thoughts is probably a mistake,
Because he’s just thinking about the - - - - - - movement he's trying to make.
At the - - - - - of WWII, Churchill was looking for a symbol of hope,
Something stirring and uplifting to help his countrymen cope.
He chose Beethoven’s Fifth symphony as the symbol of victory,
Because the first four - - - - - are the Morse Code for the letter V.
But it is the Ninth Symphony that leaves me enthralled,
Especially when the - - - - - of Ode to Joy fill the concert hall.
Beethoven had a true gift and a unique musical ear
Especially since he was - - - - - deaf and just couldn’t hear.
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